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Thanks for sharing in our journey of moving from a couple in love TTC with no intervention to the land of testing and procedures...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Everything is normal...yay?

So, yesterday was our meeting with the RE to have an US and to go over all of our test results in the workup for RPL.  As expected, everything is normal.  I was both happy and disappointed that this was the case.  I'm happy that nothing is wrong, although I was really hoping for there to be something small wrong that we could easily fix; therefore, providing a reason for my two miscarriages and some assurance that the next time is less likely.  Instead, I still have no answers and have a higher risk of miscarrying again.  Although, eventually, with enough pregnancies, I'll have a baby.  Yeah statistics.  It was very emotional.  The MD is amazing! He is so kind and compassionate. He treats us like we're competent but explains anything we need him to. He answers our questions and is not pushy at all.  He acts as if he has all the time in the world for us and we're not even doing expensive procedures! I do love him.

After we got the results we talked about perhaps starting Clomid. The MD in NO way pushed us towards it, just offered it if we wanted. D and I had many questions and he was patient and answered them all. I had guessed that we would have this option and spoke to D about it on the ride to the center.  It may be good for us because it will stimulate a good strong egg (or 2), boosts the progesterone, and we know almost certainly when I will ovulate so sex can be timed better. Even though all my tests were "normal" I'm concerned that I have a progesterone issue after I get pregnant. Also, each time we've gotten pregnant it's taken us 6 months. With Clomid, it could happen faster.  I'm more of a "doer" and my husband is more of a "nothing's wrong, nothing needs to be fixed" kind of guy.  So, we're still discussing the next step. After we went over all the risks and side effects, D felt more comfortable with it.  So, we can decide whenever.  If we aren't pregnant this cycle (not feeling like we are, by the way) we can just call.  If we don't that's fine too.  We can call when/if we ever want it. Then, with the next +HPT we can call and they'll follow us.  Any thoughts about trying clomid?

I'm disappointed that we don't have answers but happy that nothing serious is wrong with me. I do know and feel confident that I will eventually get pregnant and stay that way.  I'm a control freak and this is completely out of my hands, which has been hard. I do feel lucky and know that my situation could be much much worse. I know to many of you I sound like a whiner and need to buck up and go on.  However, taking so long to get pregnant and then miscarrying twice has dealt a serious blow to my self-esteem and happiness.  Although, right now I'm in a good place.  I'm trying to reconnect with me and relearn the interests I had before TTC became all-consuming.  I mean, what else is there to do during the two week wait?


  1. I am on my first round of Clomid this cycle. I will have my first ultrasound on Monday to see how things are progressing. The bad part is I only have one tube so my chances are diminished. They start you on a low dose of Clomid and the side effects haven't been too bad (like bad PMS).

    I also had a miscarriage in Feb so understand. Sounds like everything is in place for you to get pregnant again so the Clomid might speed that up. Did you do progesterone supplements when you were pregnant before?

  2. I know exactly how you feel. After my two miscarriages, all the tests came back normal as well. It leaves me feeling uneasy...We've started to try again, so I'm doing my best not to think about it.

    Good luck with your decision. For what it's worth, clomid worked really well for me, and I experienced no side effects..

  3. First of all, I HEAR you: taking a long time to get pregnant and then miscarrying twice are huge blows. So much hope, so much loss. We go through phases of being in a good place and being in the gutter. It is so hard, so hard.

    Clomid: my case is different because of my age, and my RE does kind of push Clomid, though she said at my first exam that I still have "plenty of eggs." I've taken it off and on for six months (not every cycle; depending on various circumstances, including a cycle of pregnancy and miscarriage). I've had few negative side effects: just slight late-night headaches and a bit more emotion (read: crying and screaming, as situations dictate). And one "lost cycle" due to a left over follicular cyst. My system responds very well to the drug, scary-well. I've had as many as 13 follicles well-on-their-way to maturity just before ovulation, though there's no way of telling how many actually release. My RE's assistant has spent time very seriously discussing with me the possibility of multiples and the practice of "selective reduction." He even scared me with statistics of how many MARRIAGES FAIL after the birth of multiples. Not something I was expecting or wanting to hear, but I was grateful he was so frank. Nonetheless... here I am on another Clomid cycle. But I'm thinking it will be one of my last. Either it's going to work out well for us in the next month or two (maybe three), or I'll move on from it.

    I'd recommend extreme caution and absolute certainty- for both you and D- before you take it.

  4. I can really relate to this post. While no one *wants* to have something wrong with them, it is so frustrating not have a reason why! I don't have any experience with Clomid. Whatever you decide, I look forward to updates and wish you all the best! xo